American Idol: Hollywood or Home

American Idol: Hollywood or Home

American Idol XIII Hollywood or Home

It’s Hollywood week on Idol and gurl, it’s mean.

It’s torturous to watch these contestants throw their dreams out there to be terrorized in such a hideous and evil way on national TV.

Dorco USA

Okay, so here’s the new twist this season. The dreamers who did not receive three “yes” votes in the audition round will have to sing for their life in a sudden death elimination.

The dreamers who received three “yes” votes will be allowed to skip this hideous round of evil and automatically move on thru. 

Horrid!

The contestants are gathered in a well lit airplane hangar and are randomly called to sing. After we go thru the normal gaggle of mostly nervous singers with guitars, the judges divide the contestants into two groups. Two busses are waiting outside the hanger. One group, unknowingly, will be bussed to a hotel in Hollywood where they will proceed to the next round and one group will unknowingly be bussed straight to the airport where they will realize that they didn’t make it. How rude, evil and vicious is that! The bus ride to broken dreams. ROTTEN!

The contestants who’ve made it thru to the next round are now called to sing in front of the judges at The Dolby Theater in Hollywood.

Before I let you know who stood out for Fagsy I have to say I’m not liking musical instruments being allowed to accompany the singers. It’s distracting and it feels like they have an advantage over the singers who sing without accompaniment. I miss ghetto Idol back in the day when the singers only sang acapella. it was raw and real. Now it’s all just too glossy.

Okay, now let’s get to Fagsy’s faves of the night!

I loved that Majesty YorkBrandy Neely and Spencer Lloyd are going through to the next round. Twin Selena (her twin sister was canned back in the early auditions), choked hard and was just awful. I don’t know why it was enjoyable to see her bomb. Maybe because she reeked of wanting it too badly.

Fagsy, stay on track! … Ew, okay. Where was I? Oh yeah, my faves …

Bria Anai can sing well but gurl, that lip gloss ain’t doing it for Fagsy. Wipe it off.

  • Sam Woolf (Cute twink)
  • C.J. Harris (This is one of Fagsy’s top 10)
  • Briston Maroney (Good singer / another cute twink)
  • Rachel Rolleri (Country smooth beauty. Should go far)

I don’t like contestant Munfarid Zaidi. He’s the contestant that was picked up and cradled by Harry Connick Jr in the auditions. He’s the Idol odd ball that they threw in for an extra pop of entertainment. He’s clearly not the next American Idol and I just don’t find him cute or funny. Boot ‘em off! I don’t like Emmanuel Zador either. Both got through but should be canned pretty quickly.

Sorry, I keep getting distracted! Okay, back to Fagsy’s standouts:

I thought Briana Oakley and Savion Wright were good.

Keith London … I instantly disliked. His “good reason” for singing “If I was a Girl (Boy)” was Pollyanna sickening. I hate when these kids have a “meaningful reason” as to why they chose to sing the song that they’re singing. We don’t care. Just sing the damn song. He got through tho.

And group day begins with all its fake, exaggerated and frivolous drama from the bickering, complaining and exhausted contestants.

Night two 

Hollywood Group Round

  • Tony Foster Jr, David Oliver Willis, Sarina Joi Crowe sang “Too Close” 
  • Harmonies a plenty. Nice enough. Whatever.
  • David and Sarina go through. Bye Tony.

Ben Briley, Casey Thrasher, & Dexter Roberts  sang “I Want it That Way” by The Backstreet Boys: This country boy band just wasn’t my thing. I didn’t think they were that great but all three made it through? Duh.

Following was a mish mash of groups in a weird fast montage thing. I’m gonna sum it up by telling you who I was happy to see make it through to the next round:

  • Brandy Neely 
  • Andrina Brogden
  • Briana Oakley

All great singers that should go far!

Spencer Lloyd, Megan Miller, Alyssa Siebken sang “Best I Ever Had” by Gavin DeGraw and were just hideous. Really bad sounding group.

  • Megan Miller and cutie Spencer Lloyd make it through. Tuta-lu Alyssa Siebken.
  • Madison Walker, Keith London, Austin Percario, Stephanie Petronelli, Adam Roth … all canned.
  • Tequila Wilson quits the competition! She says she’s Gospel and that the competition just isn’t for her. Bye Tequila! Good luck!
  • Matthew Hamel, CJ Harris, Caleb Johnson, Tyler Ahlgren sang “Too Close” by Alex Clare 
  • Caleb and CJ make it through. Matthew and Tyler go bye-bye and needed to go bye-bye.
  • Matthew left pissed off and said “the judge’s decision was bull crap”. Poor baby.
  • The group Collision makes it through to the next round.
  • Clarity – Munfraid, Jena Asciutto, Sikenia, Allie Odem
  • Munfraid, Sikenia and Jena advance. Allie is eliminated. 

I wish Munfraid was canned. And Sikenia should-be sent home just for her “I’m sick” drama and her dumb little girl baby Fantasia like voice. She’s trouble I tell you.

Savion Wright, John Fox sang Royals by Lorde. Harry thinks John is uncomfortable and he get’s the big ole Idol ax! Tears were flowing as Savion feels like he’s on his own now with out John Fox. Awwwww so cute.

Jessica Meuse, Nica Neshae, Stephanie Hanvey, Cara Watson sang “Single Ladies”

What a mess! All of them looked like cheap whores and sounded awful. I think they all should-be canned. But Jessica, Nica and Cara get through. Stephanie … dumped. Poor Stephanie with her crazy ass show biz loony tune Mother. She needs a restraining order against that kook ball of a Mom who is obsessed with her daughter being a star.

Loves Angels – Terrica Curry, Carmen Delgina, Emmanuel Zidor sang “Say My Name”

Harry lectures the group about how awful it was that they picked a song that had no melody.

Over the top Gay Emmanuel goes through (Fagsy don’t like him). Carmen and Terrica are flushed down the Idol toilet and sent home.

Christina Collins, Olivia Diamond, Queen Bulls, Malaya Watson sang “I Want You Back” 

All four ladies (who were a total wreck the night before) pulled it together and made it through to the next round.

So there you have it my darling fagolas.

We’re getting closer to the top twenty! I personally can’t wait for all the riff raff to be cleared out so that we can get to know the contestants!

Thanks for reading my faggy Idol recap this week and leave comments below! I love reading them and responding to them!

Love,
Fagsy

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Fagsy is Gay: In his naive love for the performing arts, unfortunately Fagsy started to veer off course and ended up working as a clown stripper at the Wild Goose in Hawthorne, CA. That eventually led Fagsy into the dark world of booze, pills and hookers. Thankfully, Fagsy eventually got help and soon started working as a juggler/singer in the wonderful world of Vaudeville! But due to low ticket sales Fagsy's act got the boot and Fagsy ended up working back at the Wild Goose performing clown pole dances for a dollar a night. One night, as Fagsy sat broken and defeated in front of his computer on Twitter, a wonderful tweet came in from someone called WhorEd (@BrophE). WhorEd ran a wonderful website called TV Fishbowl! It covers all things Hollywood and more! WhorEd thought Fagsy would be great at writing for his site and asked Fagsy if he'd like to write recaps for the new season 13 of American Idol! Of course Fagsy said "yes!" and there you have it! Follow Fagsy on Twitter: @FagsyMalone
  • tarable19

    I missed the group sing last night *hangs head in shame as I curse the Olympics* but I knew I could get the skinny from you! Thanks for getting me up-to-date!

    So glad that Keith London and Stephanie with the stage mom are gone!

    • Fagsy Malone

      Me too!
      Thanks Tarable!
      XX

  • Collen

    Mr.Malone, Did the second generation son to Idol contestant, Nikki, make ot through? Don’t remember kid’s names. Thanks. xo

    • Fagsy Malone

      Collen, sadly Nikki McKibbin’s son Tristen Langley got an early boot. Poor lil’ thing had such high hopes. Xo

      • julyol1972

        He needed to go! Kid was not great at all, and I’m he and Momma weren’t sent through just because.

        • Fagsy Malone

          I agree julyI1972. He wasn’t that good and I thought Nikki was creepy when she silently sang along with him in his first audition.

      • Collen

        The kid can try next year. Feb 18, or there about, Adam Lambert, Chris Daughtrey& Randy will air the Idol Workshop (taped last week) Signed, Coco

        • julyol1972

          Nice! Thanks for the info. Love me some Adam and Daughtrey!

  • Sharon Smolarz

    The Riff Raff owes you a BIG thank you for mentioning so many names, in the past I never paid attention to names until top 20 or so!

    • Fagsy Malone

      Guuuuuurl me too! It’s very challenging to recap the show in these early auditions! Hurry up! Clear ‘em OUT! I’m looking forward to when they’re down to the top twenty. Xo

  • Jay Arnold

    Those group things are dumb, all trying to step on each other and shit. I would rather make them pick a song out of a fishbowl and sing it live, like 5, 6, 7, 8 sing gurl!

    • Fagsy Malone

      Ha! Yes!

  • Patrice

    I love reading this Fagsy, I don’t watch Idol but who needs to with such a brilliant recap!!

    Love your fagalious writing!!

  • julyol1972

    I like the judges dynamic! Still not as easy-going as The Voice, but definitely much better than the previous panels after the first 2-3 seasons.

    That wannabe Momager was horrible, and I’m glad she and her spawn are gone. That poor kid does not realize the life that awaits her with that woman. Poor thing!!!

    So far this season is shaping up to be less about finding the next Phillip Phillips for the young, white teenage-girl demographic to crown the next Idol, and more about actual singers regardless of color, shape or size. Fingers crossed that this continues into the live shows with no producer-driven shenanigans to mess that up.

    • Birdie11

      I am so bad at names but I LOVE that young black man with the short braids. Jennifer annoys the crap out of me at times because she lets thru mediocre talent…I can almost see our darling Harry twitch at some of her opinions. I am in a perpetual swoon fest with Harry still. LOVE HIM!! But tsk tsk July…I love Phil Phillips!!

      • Fagsy Malone

        Harry is a sex pot!

      • julyol1972

        Savion is his name – like him a lot too! You know I’m a HUGE Harry fan there too, so I totally agree with everything you said. He’s the voice of reason, to keep Jennifer roped in, hopefully!

        I thought Philip was great, but it’s always the young teenage girl demographic the last few years.Really tired of it.

        • Birdie11

          They’re the ones who vote like crazies. Harry makes me feel like one of them! LOL!! How are you?

          • julyol1972

            I wish they would stop! Lol! I’m good! San Fran has been getting soaked the last few days with storms, so I’m ready for a bit of sunshine.

            How are you?

            • Birdie11

              OK…had an insane week with houseguests and a barf bug…but things are getting normal again. It’s crappy and cold in FL too..but had all windows open most of the week which is my favorite.

              • julyol1972

                So sorry to hear, Birdie!

                • Fagsy Malone

                  Awww Birdie :(

    • Fagsy Malone

      AbsoIDOLutely! I agree 100%!

  • Birdie11

    I thought the ‘want you back’ group STUNK up the stage…with the exception of the girl with braces. I thought it was odd that the Jennifer ranted about having to cut a ton, then they only cut around 23. The judges were soft…I doubt Harry agreed with half of the decisions to keep people.

    • Fagsy Malone

      I agree with you about the ‘Want You Back’ group! Poop stain bad. That girl with the braces is good and I hope she makes it through to the top 20 just so we can all enjoy her Idol makeover!

      • Birdie11

        OMG does she ever need one! I was shocked they sent them all thru…like WTH??…those chicks heads don’t need to get any bigger!

        • Fagsy Malone

          True.

  • Fagsy Malone

    Thanks Patrice and I Love you!

  • Nancy Lindsey-Talkington

    I missed it this week, so I enjoyed your post about the good, the bad, and the ugly….Bria needs to get rid of the sparkly lips it’s too distracting…and all the Drama Mamas need to go.

    • Fagsy Malone

      I hate Bria’s sparkly lips so much and I agree, it is distracting!
      And that Mother was like something I’ve never seen. It was disturbing.

      • Nancy Lindsey-Talkington

        That Mother was awful, an embarrassment to the daughter, the girl doesn’t need that kind of baggage, it will just hinder her career