Hurry up! I thought we were done with American Idol Hollywood week! Apparently we’re not.
Tonight the judges are narrowing the contestants down to the top 30.
Idol drags the process out with the mean elevator ride up to the long ass walk to the chair of doom. Couldn’t they have least installed an express elevator! Uhg, the process is so drawn out, set up, fake and boring but I’ll do my best to recap it all for you.
Okay, let’s get to it.
Attention girls and gay boys! … Spencer Lloyd! I don’t think he’s the next American Idol but he sure is a hot piece of boy trade to look at. The only negative thing about him is that when he sings he kinda looks like he’s working overtime to push a stuck poo out. In any case, we get to see more of him because he made it thru to the top 30!
Another hottie is Sam Woolf from Boston. Cute, a little dull, but nice to look at. He played his guitar and sang an original song (that was forgettable) but he makes JLo happy so he makes it thru!
Thank God they cut Keri Lynn Roche. Keri is a good singer. Very soulful slinkity Lilith Fair-ish but not American Idol material. She wasn’t my cup a tea. JLo said it was close. They did the right thing by giving her a big fat “No”.
Malaya Watson. She can sing well enough but it’s her potential for an amazing Idol makeover that will keep her movin’ on up. I can already see the video package of her at the orthodontist getting her braces removed. And that hair! I’m sure the producers kept saying to her: “Don’t change a thing! Keep the burnt straw witch hair, no make up, braces look … it’s great!” Maylaya is goin’ thru! Good luck tinsel teeth!
Awwwww it was nice to have a pop surprise visit from dawg Randy Jackson. Harry and Keith did a little audition song for him which was cute but whatever.
Speed it up Idol!
Bria Anai should go far. Her ‘This Is A Man’s World” was really good and popped her right on thru to the top 30! I’m looking forward to her Idol makeover too!
Jessica Meuse and Jesse Roach have a sing off. Both have a very lezbionic alternative look and sound which I personally don’t care for very much. I like the more pop star sounding thing. In any case, Jesse sounded horrible, flat and weak and got the boot. Jessica moves on. Bye Jesse.
Dexter Roberts gives us authentic farm boy, guitar playing, country gold. He makes it in to the top 30! I don’t think America will keep him around long but he could easily have a nice country music career just by the exposure he’s getting by making it this far.
Uhg, Emmanuel Zidor. Awful. Too much. His antics are unappealing and not funny and his voice is shrill and piercing. The poor girl cried the minute she sat down in the chair of doom. Shut up! I can’t believe they let him advance! He won’t last much longer. I think he’s thru because America always enjoys a good queen. It’s tired, he’s tired and I’m tired. Dump ‘em.
MK Nobilette say’s “I’m very obviously gay”. She got that right. For the longest time, I thought it was a boy. I think MK is pretty in a soft lezbo sorta way. Her lezbionicals are soft, gentle and soothing. I’m glad the judges put her thru. I don’t think she’ll last long but hey, she’s an out and proud lesbian and I think that’s worth the lezbionic Idol ticket.
Pretty, and sorta dull, nurse Kristen O’Conner is a little weak vocally but makes it thru to the top 30! There’s not much to say about her, which does not make her chances at making it past the top 30 very good. We’ll see.
Leah Guerrero and Andrina Brogden are brought into the chair of doom together. I like Andrina. Leah, not so much. Leah’s a good enough singer but doesn’t have the ‘umph’ to be a star. The judges got this one right. Andrina goes thru to the top 30 and Leah get’s the boot. Poor Leah was just so devastated and we leave her on the floor in a pool of tears.
Malcolm Allen is a good enough singer but there’s just something lacking? There’s a dullness about him. He makes it thru to the top 30 so we’ll see if he loosens up and shows something more. Girl, you gotta bring more!
Alex Preston is a great singer and musician but sadly doesn’t have the charisma or looks of a star. The Idol makeover team is gonna have to work overtime to keep this one around in front of America. I hope I’m wrong about his charisma. I’m glad the judges did the right thing and put him thru. He deserves it. He’s talented. Just doesn’t look like a star.
Tonights show ends in a country singer cliffhanger between CJ Harris and Casey Thrasher. Both are very similar in their style of country vocalizations. I like both of these guys and think should both go thru. I like CJ a little more then Casey but Casey is cute and I’m a sucker for cute. You think it’s because I’m gay? Whatever. We’ll find out tomorrow night which one goes thru.
Night Two – More of the same
Both country darlings CJ Harris and Casey Thrasher make it thru!
Wait, Marrialle Sellars was a judges fave. Why she’s acting all flipped out and sure that she’s not going thru … I don’t understand. Her happy skip to the chair of judgement was lame but she goes thru! Duh. These set ups are getting worse.
Jena Irene Asciutto, being that you made it thru to the top 30 … can you now please just change the spelling of your name to ‘Gina’!! I want her voted off just because of the way she spells her name. Uhg. So annoying!
Powerhouse Caleb Johnson made it thru but the dumb hat he wore to final judgement made me like him a little less. It was so pretentious and stupid. You have a great thing goin’ on! Don’t blow it with stupid wardrobe that makes you look like you’re trying to hard to be cool.
Cute twink Ethan Harris makes it thru! Adorable. A little soft and frail but I like him and I’ll pull for him.
Majesty Rose had some rough spots thru her audition rounds (remember, she wore the horrible fake flowers in her hair at the first audition?) but makes it thru to the top 30!
Another cutie, 15 year old Briston Maroney, makes it thru after Harry tortures him. So cute.
Briana Oakley and Brandy Neelly make it thru and I think both girls have great voices and will go far in the competition.
The set-ups and fake mean cliffhangers are getting old at this point. I cannot wait to narrow these kids down!
Okay, cute Kenzie Hall makes it thru! She’s good and could go far. I said “could”. There’s something that’s just a little too meek about her for me but like I said, she’s a good singer.
Austin Wolfe and Sandie Lee go into final judgement together. Sandie gets the boot … Austin goes thru. It’s so gross when two contestants go in together and one makes it thru and the other doesn’t. It’s mean.
Ben Briley and Neco Starr are the last contestants left. If that isn’t nerve racking enough … these two boys have to wait to know if they’re going thru because for the first time in Idol history, it’s up to America to decide which one goes thru. You can cast your vote at AmericanIdol.com or the Idol App.
So there you have my dear loves. We are now down to the top 30!!
Please leave comments below and let me know what you think of the contestants that did or didn’t make it thru. Tell me who you think can go far and who your favorite contestant is.
Oh, I just love you,