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American Idol Recap – Detroit Auditions [Season 13]

 
American Idol 
 
This week’s American Idol kicked off from Detroit. A city that Fagsy loves. If you ever get a chance to go to Detroit, make sure you go to Motown and take the tour. It’s very informative and interactive. I was a little fagged when I was asked to do the moon walk in front of the whole group but whatever, Fagsy’s a hoofer & all around top entertainer so I was able to handle the pressure.
 
Talk about pressure!
 
These poor kids who audition. It’s so raw and brittle to have to put yourself out there, standing in your dream to be judged in front of all of America. First night, Harry told a young girl that her tongue did weird things when she sang making it sound and appear like she had a speech impediment. Poor little baby sweet angel. That kind of stuff can do a lot of damage to a young girl with a big dream. Thank God she was given the coveted Golden Ticket! 
 
There were a lot of good singers & just a couple of enjoyable kooks from the Detroit auditions. I just gotta say, I really can’t stand when these kids get all Christina Faguilera on us and riff, scat and roll yodel through the whole song.  
We don’t need your vocal acrobatics! Just sing the damn song! 
 
Before I let you know who I think stood out in both shows, I just want to say that I’m kinda liking the judges now. They’re growing on me. The bromance foolery between Keith Urban and Harry Connick Jr is somewhat fun and lame at the same time. I wish they’d make out. JLo is consistently gorgeous beautiful and pleasant to watch.
 
Fagsy’s Top 5 Contestants from Detroit:
 
5) Keri Lynn Roche “Radioactive”/”I’d Rather Go Blind”: All tatted up and a little hard in the style department. Voice, a little effected and hipster-ish sounding but all around a good singer. Glad the judges made her sing without her guitar.

 
4) Malaya Watson “Ain’t No Way”: Can’t wait for the Idol makeover with this one! And maybe she’ll play her tuba for all of us. Soulful voice!

 
3) Bryan Watt “So Small”:What” kind of last name is that? Good country tonk but gurl needs to change the name. What?

 
2) Melanie Porras “Fever”/”Wanted Dead or Alive”: I agree with JLo on “Fever” being a safe choice. Glad they made this country beauty sing another song cause “Wanted Dead or Alive” was way better. A little bland but a good singer with a good back story about being raised by her Dad. We’ll see.

 
1) Marrialle Sellars “Easy Come Easy Go”: Idol really pumped this one up to be the shining star front runner which almost made me hate her. She’s solid tho with a touching back story about the passing of her Father. She’s kinda like a clean black version of Miley Cyrus. 

 

Fagsy’s Favorites from Atlanta:

5) Lauren Ogburn “Fancy”: Nice country bumpkin vocals but the hard lesbian look and attitude has got to go.

 4) Bria Anai “One And Only”: Bria honey, you’re voice is a power house but dump the sparkle lips. Yes, I’m disagreeing with Jenny from the block.
 
3) Jesse Cline “Washed By The Water”: Another one I’m excited about seeing the Idol makeover with. Nice natural singer.
 
2) Ben Briley “Arms Of A Woman”: Country brother gumbo has some smooth honkey tonk vocals.
 
1) Majesty Rose “Violet Hill”: Beautiful voice … horrible rose headband.
 
So there you have it love bunnies. Fagsy’s Idol Round-up will continue next week!
Fagsy is Gay: In his naive love for the performing arts, unfortunately Fagsy started to veer off course and ended up working as a clown stripper at the Wild Goose in Hawthorne, CA. That eventually led Fagsy into the dark world of booze, pills and hookers. Thankfully, Fagsy eventually got help and soon started working as a juggler/singer in the wonderful world of Vaudeville! But due to low ticket sales Fagsy's act got the boot and Fagsy ended up working back at the Wild Goose performing clown pole dances for a dollar a night. One night, as Fagsy sat broken and defeated in front of his computer on Twitter, a wonderful tweet came in from someone called WhorEd (@BrophE). WhorEd ran a wonderful website called TV Fishbowl! It covers all things Hollywood and more! WhorEd thought Fagsy would be great at writing for his site and asked Fagsy if he'd like to write recaps for the new season 13 of American Idol! Of course Fagsy said "yes!" and there you have it! Follow Fagsy on Twitter: @FagsyMalone
  • tarable19

    My Darling Fagsy, perfect recap! Gurl, I agree 100% on the standouts from both nights.

    Love the judges! Great dynamic between them, and don’t get me started on my feelings for HKJ… Let’s just say I will give Keith Urban a run for his money!

    • Fagsy Malone

      Thx Tarable! Xoxo

  • Birdie11

    I thought it was interesting that a judge called Lauren authentic…I thought she seemed like a complete poser, not authentic at all. Her voice was ok though. I continue to LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Harry.

  • Sharon Smolarz

    I thought that Harry’s tongue comment was unfortunate, but I know he was coming from a good place, but I also think he politely put a couple people through that he probably should have said no to…LOVED the ‘Delta-flying coach’ comments! Highlight of that show! The bathroom stall, I mean the chamber – not so much!

    • Birdie11

      They are pounding that outhouse with a light into the ground…give it a rest already.

    • Fagsy Malone

      It IS a bathroom stall! Like I said in my first recap … this is where the contestants should be farting and sharting. The Chamber is stupid.

      • Babson_Chick

        Guess the genuises thought the Chamber would be exciting – major fail!!

  • Sharon Smolarz

    Last night’s show couldn’t be viewed in Las Vegas by Cox Cable due to tiny digital squares that covered the screen for the full hour…no audio when that happens, either :( Thanks for the recap, Malone!

    • Fagsy Malone

      What a bust! Sorry you couldn’t watch it :( Xo, Fagsy

      • Sharon Smolarz

        I’m hoping I can pick it up on ONDemand!

  • Fagsy Malone

    I’m write there with you Scarlett regarding the guitar playing. I think it’s almost like a crutch for some. I like it acapella and raw.

  • Fagsy Malone

    Oh I Love it! Thank you! Xo

  • Fagsy Malone

    I agree!