American Idol: Salt Lake City and Omaha Auditions

American Idol: Salt Lake City and Omaha Auditions

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AI13_SLC-Auditions_0557

American Idol Season 13 auditions continued tonight from Salt Lake City, Utah!

A lot of original songs were performed tonight by a lot of good singers with a lot of guitars!

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One of the first singers up was lumberjack Kylee Adamson. Yes, a real lumberjack! Kylee was pure country gold with a nice billy-goat yodel vibrato. It was no surprise to me that she was given the Golden Ticket to Hollywood … mostly because the girl knows how to use an axe! She could potentially kill the judges. Here ya go honey snuggles … you’re goin’ to Hollywood.

Samantha Calmes who wore a fanny pack and sang an original song has a very alternative sounding voice (very Lilith Fair). I loved when the judges asked her to sing a non-original song and she burst out into ‘The Jefferson’s’ ‘Movin’ On Up’. She get’s Fagsy’s vote just for that.

Julie Offal (pronounced ‘Awful’) I would’ve given this poor girl a Golden Ticket solely based on her name. I don’t see her being the next American Idol but I see her being remembered for her name. What she should’ve done was changed her Offal name before her Idol audition. But being that she didn’t … I think she’d do better in porn or writing a blog. Aren’t I just Offal. (Gay sigh)

Now there was something about singer DJ Bradley that Fagsy really liked. I think it was his sorta quirky grunge boy twink look. I’m glad he made it to Hollywood because I can’t wait to see him try to fit in to the dorky Hollywood group round.

I loved alcoholic ‘Cher’ impersonator Paisley Van Patten. Her “Cher” wasn’t as impressive as when she sang Faith Hill’s ‘When the Lights Go Down’. I think she’s gonna go far and of course being that she’s an addict in recovery I’m gonna pull for her even more. Is that unfair? Oh who cares I’m Fagsy so what.

I really liked CJ Harris. From rough trade activity at a young age with the Law to now a sensitive sweet soul who dedicated his song to his father who died last year. I was relieved when he sang well. I’ll root for this one. Tho he could crumble under the bright lights of Hollywood week. I hope not. He was sweet.

Power house Tequila Wilson sings to the dead at her job in a funeral home … but not for long … gurls gotta strong voice and a strong presence.

Favorite of the night: Carmen Delgina because her name sounds like vagina and her Dad is Wonder Mike from Sugar Hill Gang! Poor vagina wasn’t that good but all 3 judges voted yes! I think just to meet her Dad. Good luck vagina!

AI13_Omaha-Auditions_1305Second night – From Omaha Nebraska

Quaid Edwards cute son of a lead singer in a country band called Jolie and the Wanted. Voice, not great. Looks, let’s just say gay boys and girls are gonna root and toot for this hottie who seems a little like he’s trying to live Mommies dream more than his own.

Alyssa Seibken sounded more like an amped up auctioneer then a singer when she “sang” “No Hands” by Waka Flocka Flame. Maybe it was nerves that sped up her vibrato like a horse race announcer on speed. Too much

Tyler Gurwicz was uncomfortable to watch and listen to and he made facial expressions that looked like he was smelling poo. He was given the Golden Tcket but Fagsy woulda said NO.

CJ Jones demanding Harry stand by him while he sang ‘Stand By Me’ made for a memorable moment. Good voice, not great. Was given the Golden ticket. Should be interesting to see how far this kid will go.

Paula Hunt. Good singer. I loved that she’s singing for her Mom who had some success as a singer but couldn’t sing anymore after being diagnosed with MS. I’m gonna pull for Paula to go far. She’s a natural. Certain people like Paula touch my faggy soul. I tend to like the people who come from hardship. I want them to win. See, Fagsy does have a heart.

Andrina Brogden was obviously someone the producers loved because they had footage of her 24 hours before her audition. Duh. She was a good singer. Not great but I agree with the judges in that I think she was nervous. We’ll see if Andrina rises to the occasion in Hollywood week. [Fagsy Side Note: I had a cat named Andrina once that hated me!]

Tessa Kate … country bunkin Dolly-like yodel singer. I loved that Harry compared her to a Barbara Mandrel type singer / performer. She’s good but I can’t see her fitting into Hollywood week. I think she should turn her attention to working at Dollywood as a Dolly impersonator. Oh Fagsy …

Well, that does it for this part of the competition! Next week is Hollywood Week and it looks like there’s gonna be some fun surprises. So stay tuned because as the top 20 start to emerge that’s when the real fireworks start to happen!

See y’all next week!
Love,
Fagsy

Fagsy is Gay: In his naive love for the performing arts, unfortunately Fagsy started to veer off course and ended up working as a clown stripper at the Wild Goose in Hawthorne, CA. That eventually led Fagsy into the dark world of booze, pills and hookers. Thankfully, Fagsy eventually got help and soon started working as a juggler/singer in the wonderful world of Vaudeville! But due to low ticket sales Fagsy's act got the boot and Fagsy ended up working back at the Wild Goose performing clown pole dances for a dollar a night. One night, as Fagsy sat broken and defeated in front of his computer on Twitter, a wonderful tweet came in from someone called WhorEd (@BrophE). WhorEd ran a wonderful website called TV Fishbowl! It covers all things Hollywood and more! WhorEd thought Fagsy would be great at writing for his site and asked Fagsy if he'd like to write recaps for the new season 13 of American Idol! Of course Fagsy said "yes!" and there you have it! Follow Fagsy on Twitter: @FagsyMalone
  • tarable19

    Great recap again! I am excited for Hollywood week!!! The drama! The suspense! I get the vapors just thinking about it!!!!

    • Fagsy Malone

      Me too! Thx Tarable! Xx

  • Sharon Smolarz

    Once again, great re-cap…I also liked all the guitars! I like the direction this show is going and my hope is they will cut this horrible runny singing fad out of our pop & R&B music! It’s horrible and I hate it! Next week looks like a lot of fun!
    I have to comment about the bathroom chamber one more time, something I didn’t notice before, that these contestants get BUZZED in…can you imagine…right before the audition of their lives a buzzer that probably makes them jump out of their skin! OMG!

    • Fagsy Malone

      The Chamber looks like a sex store porn booth. Did you notice that it’s also an echo chamber of the contestants nervous thoughts? Who ever drummed up The Chamber idea needs to be fired stat.

  • julyol1972

    Great recap! Once again I’m astounded by how much I like the judges dynamic together, and man am I feeling Mr Urban this go-around. He’s still not as amazing as my love Harry, but he’s really grown on my this year.

    Favorite part of the show – Throwback Thursday with “Jenny From The Block” as an uber-permed Fly-Girl. A 16 year-old Keith Urban getting his first taste of NO, and the Amazing Harry on piano!

    • Fagsy Malone

      Loved the Throwback Thursday element with the judges. Jenny from the block’s Fly girl days is old news but I loved seeing Harry and Keith at younger ages!

      • julyol1972

        I loved In Living Color so much, that any reference to it is truly appreciated on my part. Really enjoyed Harry and Keith too. It’s interesting that they all said they wouldn’t have tried out for Idol and/or don’t think they would’ve made it to the next round.

        • Fagsy Malone

          I wouldn’t have made it to the next round either. You know, Fagsy’s an ole crooner. My dreams were shattered pretty early tho mainly because of my low self esteem at the time. I don’t know how these kids do it!

          • julyol1972

            Me either! i would never have had the confidence to even try out. Yeah, these kids have huge cojones.

    • Sharon Smolarz

      I don’t know how I missed Keith’s throwback! Loved the other 2!

      • julyol1972

        He was this really chill teenager – easy to miss!

  • Darlene V

    I have never watched this show, but thanks to Fagsy’s terrific recap, I think I may have to start!

  • michael

    I don’t watch American Idol, but thanks to Fagsy’s awesome recap, I don’t ever need to and be on top of the ‘Idol Situation’

  • Michael Paradigm

    I don’t watch American Idol . But thanks to Fagsy’s awesome Recap, I don’t have to AND still know everything about the ‘Idol situation’

    • Fagsy Malone

      Xx

  • Dr Seuss

    Fagsy I love your profile description. LMAO!!!

    • Fagsy Malone

      Muah!

  • Fagsy Malone

    Thx Dar! Xx

  • Fagsy Malone

    Thx Michael! Xx