Well season 13 of American Idol kicked off last night with a panel of new judges (sorta), a gaggle of handpicked kooks and of course more than a few starry-eyed talented hopefuls. JLo, Keith Urban, and Harry Connick , Jr. are probably the best looking threesome of judges Idol has ever had, but I have to admit I still miss pill poppin’ Paula, Simon Scowell and Dawg. I do.
I’m just not sure about this new wholesome threesome. I mean JLo is fun to look at, but that’s pretty much it. Keith Urban is sweet country, but kind of a bore and Harry Connick , Jr. … I get distracted wondering if he’s wearing a wig or not. I’m sorry but I do.
This season Idol is introducing “The Chamber” (as in torture chamber?). A small “private” room where we the viewers get a secret peek into the nervousness of the hopefuls before they step out in front of the cameras to audition. This is where they should be puking or sharting but all we get is a repetitive “Oh my God … I’m so nervous” as they wipe the sweat from their foreheads.
Every season, during these early tryouts, I wonder what the producers of the show tell these kids to get them to do such dumb things in front of the camera in their audition. Take Troy for example. One of the first guys tonight to audition.
Okay, I guess the show has to stay “current” to what’s happening in the world of show business right now, but it was just stupid. And, even more stupid when JLo told the boy that she could twerk better than he could, but when everyone asked her to twerk she said “I can’t. I left my twerking outfit at home.”
Good luck Troy!
And, burger flipper cool man James Earl who wasn’t so much a hit with the judges but he was a hit with Fagsy when he told this gem of a joke:
Q: Why’d the dog go in the water?
A: Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog.
“bud dum bump tsshhhh”
Thanks James Earl and good luck to you too!
I’ve never been a fan of the early audition portion of Idol. With its bad set ups, scripted profiles and forced funny. It’s more of a reality show then a singing competition. For me the fun really starts when the top 20 start to emerge. Right now it’s just a blurry cornucopia of kooks and clowns and crying fools fawning over JLo as Harry Connick, Jr. plays the older man ‘No one knows who I am” card.
So gurl, stay tuned because the fun is just sharting. I mean,… Oh forget it.
See y’all next week!
I love you,
Follow me on Twitter: @FagsyMalone