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American Idol XIII Premiere

American Idol-pano

Well season 13 of American Idol kicked off last night with a panel of new judges (sorta), a gaggle of handpicked kooks and of course more than a few starry-eyed talented hopefuls. JLo, Keith Urban, and Harry Connick , Jr. are probably the best looking threesome of judges Idol has ever had, but I have to admit I still miss pill poppin’ Paula, Simon Scowell and Dawg. I do.

I’m just not sure about this new wholesome threesome. I mean JLo is fun to look at, but that’s pretty much it. Keith Urban is sweet country, but kind of a bore and Harry Connick , Jr. … I get distracted wondering if he’s wearing a wig or not. I’m sorry but I do.

This season Idol is introducing “The Chamber” (as in torture chamber?). A small “private” room where we the viewers get a secret peek into the nervousness of the hopefuls before they step out in front of the cameras to audition. This is where they should be puking or sharting but all we get is a repetitive “Oh my God … I’m so nervous” as they wipe the sweat from their foreheads.

Yawn.

Every season, during these early tryouts, I wonder what the producers of the show tell these kids to get them to do such dumb things in front of the camera in their audition. Take Troy for example. One of the first guys tonight to audition.

He twerked!

Okay, I guess the show has to stay “current” to what’s happening in the world of show business right now, but it was just stupid. And, even more stupid when JLo told the boy that she could twerk better than he could, but when everyone asked her to twerk she said “I can’t. I left my twerking outfit at home.”

Good luck Troy!

And, burger flipper cool man James Earl who wasn’t so much a hit with the judges but he was a hit with Fagsy when he told this gem of a joke:

Q: Why’d the dog go in the water?
A: Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog.

“bud dum bump tsshhhh”

Thanks James Earl and good luck to you too!

Harry Connick, JrI’ve never been a fan of the early audition portion of Idol. With its bad set ups, scripted profiles and forced funny. It’s more of a reality show then a singing competition. For me the fun really starts when the top 20 start to emerge. Right now it’s just a blurry cornucopia of kooks and clowns and crying fools fawning over JLo as Harry Connick, Jr. plays the older man ‘No one knows who I am” card.

So gurl, stay tuned because the fun is just sharting. I mean,… Oh forget it.

See y’all next week!
I love you,
Fagsy

Follow me on Twitter: @FagsyMalone

Fagsy is Gay: In his naive love for the performing arts, unfortunately Fagsy started to veer off course and ended up working as a clown stripper at the Wild Goose in Hawthorne, CA. That eventually led Fagsy into the dark world of booze, pills and hookers. Thankfully, Fagsy eventually got help and soon started working as a juggler/singer in the wonderful world of Vaudeville! But due to low ticket sales Fagsy's act got the boot and Fagsy ended up working back at the Wild Goose performing clown pole dances for a dollar a night. One night, as Fagsy sat broken and defeated in front of his computer on Twitter, a wonderful tweet came in from someone called WhorEd (@BrophE). WhorEd ran a wonderful website called TV Fishbowl! It covers all things Hollywood and more! WhorEd thought Fagsy would be great at writing for his site and asked Fagsy if he'd like to write recaps for the new season 13 of American Idol! Of course Fagsy said "yes!" and there you have it! Follow Fagsy on Twitter: @FagsyMalone
  • Babson_Chick

    “Dim the lights – here we go”. Sorry I missed it – well maybe not. :-0

  • tarable19

    I like this group of judges together. Good chemistry who know their stuff. I admit I am a huge HCJ fan! He is blunt, but with that southern charm. But, I still miss that cup of crazy, Paula.

    Highlight of the night was HCJ cradling that guy like a wee child and petting him!

    Excellent recap!

    • Dr Seuss

      You need to come here more often! ;-)

  • Birdie11

    II LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Harry Connick Jr! The is show is tired, but I will watch just for him!

    • Sharon Smolarz

      Same here, and as I expected, he’s the best judge on any show ever…I never watched this show when Paula was on it, but I loved her realityshow, oh well. But since Harry and I agree abt pop talent, I haven’t seen anyone sensational yet. I do look forward to more of your comments, Malone, as the competition gets going!

    • julyol1972

      I just said the same damn thing above Birdie, just with much more words. Lol!

      • Birdie11

        Of course July…you and I in sync again! His knowledge is so far past any previous judge, it’s ridiculous. He vocalizes all the things that bug the crap out of me, that judges tend to fall for…plus he is just the cutest guy EVER! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!!

        • julyol1972

          ITA! I loved when he used to be a mentor, and always felt he would be a great judge since he’s so on top of his craft. I really appreciate that he’s not swayed by a pair of pretty eyes, nor a great pair of legs. But neither does he take himself too seriously.

          • Birdie11

            I loved him calling out that 17 yr old for singing that slutty line in that song! We can gush together all season long July!! LOL

  • Babson_Chick

    At least this year the show should be about finding new talent and not the judges fighting and trying to “one up” each other.

  • Dr Seuss

    The judges this season are 100% better…Great Recap!

    • julyol1972

      Yep! Can I say how much I love Harry Connick, Jr? He’s funny, and goofy, and a straight shooter. He can smell the bull shit coming, and is not afraid to call you on it either. And that whole segment with him cradling the Indian contestant was surreal. He’ll never surpass my love for Simon Cowell, but he’s definitely running a hot second.

      • Dr Seuss

        Girl yes! In the words of your favorite RHOA “star” Kenya Moore…he fioooooone! I love a smart talented man.

        Happy Friday to ya!

  • Laura Alicia

    All of the above reasons are exactly why I dont watch anymore! But im glad I can hear about the highlights here! =) love ya fagsy!

  • Scarlett O’Noyoudidnt Scantleb

    I love the combo of judges. Jo Lo acts like one of us who is watching AI from their TV at home in the living room, ooooing and awwwing at the “good” singers and generally wanting to give everyone a shot at Hollywood. Harry is like that family member who is hard to please and who you can’t fool with glossed up nonsense. Keith is just like your artsy cousin who sits on the fence about things most of the time. I love them. I’m glad Harry is being truthful because Jennifer and Keith need reality checks sometime.

    • Birdie11

      Harry’s musically much smarter than both of them..I love that he doesn’t fall for what woos the other judges. Love him!