Remember the warm, fuzzy feeling from last week’s episode with Kim & Matt? This is it’s antithesis. Tonight’s show makes Catfish:The Movie seem like Mary Poppins! Think Fatal Attraction, now add The Shining to the mix…got those images embedded in your brain? Good! Let’s begin:
Jasmine’s a teenage mom with a 9 month old baby who lives in Georgia. Mike’s a single guy with kids & works as an agent/producer for a modeling agency. They’ve been talking online for 2 years, text, talked on the phone 2 times, live only 15 minutes apart, yet they’ve never met. Whenever they’re supposed to meet, something always happens & Mike can’t make it.
Nev reads Jasmine’s email aloud to Max & both agree there are a LOT of red flags. Simple research on Google immediately identifies Mike’s picture as another man & the modeling agency he works for is located in Lahore, Pakistan. (not a good area, even for Pakistan!) Nev calls 1 of Mike’s FB friends, Ceanna, and she verifies Mike does have kids & as far as she knows, he’s engaged.
Jasmine’s only had bad relationships and feels Mike may be the “one.” He’s independent, works, takes care of his kids…you get the picture. (Yes, of course he’s all those things and more! Why is it online interests are always so perfect? They’re exactly what you need, who you want them to be, and it feels like you’ve known them all your life. Maybe there’s a reason for that.)
Let’s cut to the chase: Mike’s agreed to meet Jasmine, along with Nev & Max. They’re waiting outside his apartment, which Max notes doesn’t look like a successful modeling agent would live at. (it doesn’t) <insert scary music now> Suddenly, Jasmine sees a woman with a flower walking toward them. (I thought it was a man in a dress) She knows the girl, it’s Mhissy (never forget that name or face!)
Psycho errr Mhissy (the “h” is silent) has one of the most evil smirks I’ve ever seen, (yes, picture Annie Wilkes from Misery) she tells Jasmine she’s brought her a flower & tosses it onto the ground. Nice touch! (This is when the hair on the back of my neck stood up) Jasmine is seriously uncomfortable and nervous, while Mhissy is clearly in her element – cool as a cucumber, loving every second as she watches Jasmine squirm.
So…Mhissy is “Mike” and her reasoning for doing this? Revenge! Ahh, sweet girl! (I’m thinkin’ rainbows and unicorns right about now) Nev is baffled at what’s taking place; completely lost in the chaos. He’s talking alone with Jasmine who is begging to leave and Mhissy? She’s gloating in accomplishing her goal of totally mindfucking Jasmine. (There is so much taking place in this scene, if you haven’t watched the show or this episode, this is the one you’ve got to see!) Mhissy continues standing there, pulling her too-short dress down (Why do women wear dresses that are too short, then keep pulling em down? It’s the same with guys that wear pants too low yet keep pulling them up!) & asking why Jasmine didn’t pick up the flower she threw at her. She says, “That’s sad” in one of the creepiest voices I’ve ever heard.
At this point even Jasmine’s voice & facial movements are becoming creepy! (Have I mentioned I hate scary movies?) Nev’s gone over to Mhissy & learns she created “Mike’s” Facebook profile to take Jasmine’s attention off of Josh aka Triggs, the guy they were both dating, and kept up the charade for 2 years. (She also created “Ceanna’s” FB profile for same reason) Jasmine comes back over to ask why Mhissy did this. Mhissy ridicules her for talking to someone for 2 years online, only hearing his voice 2 times-2 difference voices at that and not meeting him. (I gotta agree with Mhissy here. Who does do that??)
Things are getting pretty heated, voices louder, Mhissy gets in Jasmine’s space (earlier Jasmine said she wanted to fight her) & I’m thinkin’ there’s gonna be a fight. (Must be the old-school in me cuz I’m running thru a checklist in my head: Heels? No, that’s good. Big hoop earrings? No, another good. Hair pulled back? Nope, not good. Short dresses? Uhoh, if this gets to blows, I’m just hoping they’re both wearing panties cuz booty will show!) Fortunately, things calm down, no punches thrown & that’s a good thing. (No offense Jasmine, but my money would’ve been on Mhissy, hands down! No questions asked!)
Whew, I’m aging as I watch this. (Is there a movie “Psyicko” yet? If not…perhaps a cattle-call for producers is in order here?) Nev takes Jasmine to the car to talk, Mhissy walks away laughing her creepy laugh while tugging her dress down. *SHOCKER* Jasmine’s begging Nev to please let her beat Mhissy’s ass to which Nev replies, “That’s not gonna help.” (To which I reply, “Hunty, puhleez! If you touch that girl, it’s not Mhissy’s ass that’s gonna get beat!”)
Okie dokie, so back at the ranch… we’re in Mhissy’s home with her mom & adorable niece, Diamond, whose mom is incarcerated for assaulting the mom -Diamond’s Grandmother. Nev talks with Mhissy who seems to have an entirely new look and personality, even her voice is different. (This is like bizarro-world!) Mhissy’s happy that Jasmine is hurt by what she did and expresses absolutely ZERO remorse for her actions. She doesn’t want people to see her as a bad person. (uh SERIOUSLY???) She tells about a newborn she lost because it was too small, she cries but no tears are visible (could be editing). A month later is when she met Josh – the guy at the center of all this drama.
Fast-Forward to closing credits:
Jasmine is going to school & focus on raising her 9 month old son. Good for her! That’s exactly what she should be doing.
Mhissy is supposedly adopting her niece, Diamond, which I find extremely bothersome. How on earth can this person who obviously has serious issues (I mean really, really serious) be approved as Diamond’s legal guardian? (Hopefully this show airs before the adoption is complete…hopefully)
I could go on, (like her Twitter @MhissyBanks bio has changed & now she’s Haitian but speaks very good English!) but I’ve tried so hard to make this as short as possible. Did you watch this episode? If so, what did you think? Until next week…
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