With the lowest ratings of any of Housewives franchise and a dreadful start to season three, I’m left asking myself is The Real Housewives of Miami done? I’ve tried unsuccessfully for days to recap the two aired episodes, they just aren’t giving us anything worthy of writing about.
Episode 1: “Til Lies Do Us Part” gave us an obviously staged fight between Adriana de Moura and her
husband, boyfriend, whatever the hell he is Frederic. This little domestic discord was difficult to watch, you just knew the fight was stage to add to Adriana’s storyline and bring attention to her upcoming wedding. OVER IT!
Don’t even get me started on the Joanna Krupa and Lea Black best buddies storyline, when did that happen? I love me some Joanna, love her spitfire take no shit attitude, but come on you really expect the viewers to believe that Ms. Pillar of Society and all things pretentious is now besties with Joanna?
Why is Lea more than butt hurt over Adriana lying about being married? Umm, Lea if you were supposed to be the maid-of-honor that means you know Frederic called off the wedding. I’m just not buying Lea’s act of indignation and outrage over being lied too. I honestly believe whats-her-name was right when she said Lea couldn’t control Adriana so she’s turned on her the same way she turned on Marysol, oh that’s her name. Didn’t Lea also turn on Ana Quincoces?
It absolutely broke my heart when Marysol was talking about Mama Elsa having a stroke, Mama Elsa is one of the main reasons I watch The Real Housewives of Miami. Hey Bravo trying to replace Mama Elsa with Mama
what’s-her-name Alexia ain’t going to cut it with me or the viewers. You may be able to copy, but you’ll never replace the original Miami Mama! GTFO of here with that nonsense. NEXT!
Episode 2: “Hurricane Adriana” was more like a sunny day with a chance of sprinkles. And, the Oscar for the best staged wake-up drama goes to Joana and Romain, at least they got their lines correct and it wasn’t as painful to watch as Adriana and Frederic.
Hey, if I had a hot stud like Romain is in my bed and he isn’t diddling me, much like Joanna I’d be concerned about him dropping the pre-nup bomb too. There’s just something wrong with this picture, Romain is stud of a guy, why the lack of interest in sex? Or, is it just a lack of interest in sex with Joanna? If he’s not suffering from some sort of erectile dysfunction they should be banging like bunnies. Hedge your bets Joanna, insist on a pre-nup to save what you have built. Hey Romain if you’re on the DL call me!!!!
Adriana meets with her wedding planner has a few delusions of grandeur and then runs off to shop for a wedding dress with the rest of the Miami Vixens while Lea and Lisa join Joanna shopping for wedding shoes. I get it now, this seasons storyline for Adriana and Joanna is going to be all about dueling weddings. Is it just me, or is The Real Housewives of Miami turning into bad Telenovela?
I used to like Lisa and Lenny, not so sure how I feel now. Sure, Lisa looks like Lenny rebuilt her from the ground up, but she always came across as the most genuine member of the cast. This season everything just seems so fake and forced including their relationship. Is Lenny tired of applying spackling paste and tuning it up? Have the boobs sagged below repairable levels? Is Lenny looking for a new remodeling gig beyond that of the Star Island house they just purchased? I guess we’ll just have to “Watch What Happens!”
Oh the letdown that was the Lea vs Adriana clash. Instead of being the hurricane explosion promised in the episode title it turned into Adriana screaming something about being tired of Lea’s draconian tactics as she dramatically exited the house to stand outside and piddle in the rain with the pups. In order to not look like the “wicked sister” she’s been accused of, the episode ends with Lea running out to get Adriana, allows her to wait inside for her cab and tells Adriana she loves and cares about her. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
At this point the only reason to continue watching The Real Housewives of Miami is to hopefully see Mama Elsa and the eye and man candy that are Joanna Krupa and Romain Zago!
So what do you think is The Real Housewives of Miami done? Are you as over this franchise as I am? Tell us what you think in the comments.