Mob Wives: “No Love Lost”

Shameless, ironic, funny, tragic, exploitative. I, of course, am referring to the women of “Mob Wives.” They were all that and then some in just this week’s episode alone. Just another day on the Island of Staten. 

First we have Renee, fresh out of rehab, meeting the girls (minus Carla) at the bowling alley to shoot a few games while they shoot the – breeze. 

Renee, who screeched her way into the culture since the show launched, proves she is completely incapable of anything approaching self-awareness when she announces to the group that she learned about herself at rehab stating, without a hint of irony, “I never realized I was angry.”

With a straight face, Drita shoots right back, “You could have asked any one of us.”

Drita also announces to the ladies this week that husband Lee D’Avanzo took her totally by surprise by being home with their daughters when Drita came into the house. According to Drita, she had not an inkling about his prison release date and that she was taken completely by surprise at his unexpected appearance. Inasmuch as the whole reunion wasn’t filmed I like to think we can take her at her word.

Drita also says Lee demanded food and sex and, to their mutual satisfaction, got both before having to get himself to a mandatory, several-month stay at a half-way house.

Last week we heard Drita teaching her daughter that “the Feds” (read any legal authority that attempts to come between the mob and their victims) are to be feared and much maligned as they killed the child’s grandfather. Drita’s logic, which she shared with her daughter, was that “the Feds” are therefore responsible for her Daddy (Lee D’Avanzo) having also chosen a life of crime. And we won’t even get started on how Renee has taught her son AJ the cops exist only to torment her father, his grandfather. Drita also prepared the kids for Lee’s imminent homecoming by likening his fastidious household expectations (read OCD) to that of the abusive husband in “Sleeping With the Enemy.”

Then, of course, there’s Ramona. Oh, Ramona. Where to even begin. Ramona, who showed us last week that she thinks it perfectly fine for her to take her young daughter with her to her felonious boyfriend’s lawyer’s office to discuss the career criminal’s latest arrest and extended incarceration in front of the child. Also, as she bragged about this new love-of-her-life and how he is a bona fide member of one of the “family’s,” I suppose we were supposed to forget her story line on entering the show had hinged on the fact that she had been married a man of Arabic descent because she had vowed to never marry or get involved with anyone in “the lifestyle.”

Anyhow, her daughter sits there while the two adults basically discuss how Mommy’s boyfriend, this career criminal, is just an innocent pawn of the system and is being railroaded because that’s the only reason the cops exist. I mean we all know that to be true, amiright?

But my favorite and I’m not being facetious either was when Ramona, with a straight face first tried to say she hasn’t told anyone about being affianced or worn her engagement ring since the miscreant boyfriend’s arrest because she’s afraid it would be confiscated as ill-gotten gains. Her lawyer, with a straight face no less, told her that if the ring was legitimately purchased, she shouldn’t be afraid to wear it. Ramona while trying to state that indeed, there’s no way her ring ain’t legit had then gone on to say she had to get in touch with said boyfriend in order to find out where he stashed this quite legally acquired bauble. Now the upcoming show’s previews shown at the end of this week’s episode gives us a glimpse at next week’s episode where we see Ramona in her apartment digging an engagement ring from a box as well as announcing her planned nuptials with someone who will likely be incarcerated when they marry. We see that is not going to go over well with Karen who is starting a new relationship with “Storm,” someone who is identified as being in the music business. Karen likes herself some Storm and we see an upcoming preview of the two of them on a date.

We were also treated this week to both Renee and Ramona walking along the streets of Little Italy, reminiscing. Renee says she remembers when she went there with her father, Anthony Graziano, a Bonanno crime family associate who is currently serving jail time, she was, “treated like the queen of Mulberry Street.” Both women walk along reflecting back on the good old days of organized crime and how, given their established lineage, when it comes to “the lifestyle,” the two of them are the “real deal.”

Ramona manages to be both shameless and shameful this week by exploiting her dead grandfather, Benjamin “Lefty Guns” Ruggiero who had also been a member of the Bonanno crime family in New York. Ramona has never liked Al Pacino’s portrayal of her grandfather in the movie “Donnie Brasco” because grandpa came across as a “schlep” which, according to Ramona, couldn’t be a worse distortion of the truth as she remembers it. Ramona determines she is going to right this travesty by propping up a photo of the dead mobster who, as fate would have it (and gave to Ramona to use as a story line) died on Thanksgiving. Ramona decides she is going to reclaim Thanksgiving and make it a happy holiday again even though “Lefty” has been dead since 1994 and one can’t help but wonder if Ramona’s kids know all their Thanksgivings have been so tainted. Anyway, Lefty’s photo sits on an altar at an ad hoc memorial service that will be exclusively attended by just Ramona and the rest of the cast. Again, minus Carla. Ramona’s children and estranged family also did not attend the service. I guess including her children in the exploitation of her grandfather proved to be too low to stoop even for Ramona.

In the end, the “service” seemed to be nothing but a reason for all of the ladies (again, minus Carla), to wax rhapsodic on the good old days when the wise guys ruled the mean streets and how a good time had been had by all. I think, yeah, except of course if you were one of those of who ended up dead, thanks to said wise-guys which, according to Big Ang, misses the point.

Says Big Ang, “When a wise-guy dies, I don’t care if they’re the biggest killers in the world. I think they still should be remembered with nothing but good thoughts,” adding, “they didn’t do a thing to us.” In fact, all the ladies observe it was these men that made them the ladies they are today. All I can think at that point is, talk about being damned with faint praise.

This week’s episode also treats us to a shopping outing for light bulbs with Big Ang and Carla at which time Carla asks Ang her thoughts on child custody matters. Ang lets Carla know she isn’t down with shared houses or shared kids and doesn’t want to hear about any reasonableness on Carla’s part when Carla is negotiating with her soon-to-be ex-husband, Joe.

Carla later meets Joe and his new, much-younger love, Raquel in a cafe. Carla is naturally very eager to meet Raquel seeing that Raquel is now spending time with Carla and Joe’s young son and daughter. Carla informs the two that they seemed to have moved fast into their relationship being that Joe is so fresh out of jail he still has that new-cell smell. “I didn’t expect you to be bringing ho’s back to the house,” says Carla to both the amazement and consternation of both Joe and Raquel. Amazingly, they end up saying they are all cool with each other at this point. We, the viewers and Raquel (we find out), think, yeah, sure. We’ll have to wait and see about that.

Oh, and the execrable Love Majewski manages to bore the audience with more tales of how she has stabbed all of her previous boyfriends. The last one, hilariously enough, she stabbed right in front of his mother. Love wants us to know how “embarrassing” that one was. I mean who can’t relate to that. According to Love, no matter how badly she treats her exes (she has also bragged about having poisoned one or two along with her recidivist stabbing), they always want to come back to her.

I suppose, I’m a good one to criticize since I’ll be back watching it all next week.

Tags: Mob Wives, No Love Lost