Aahhh…the housewives have returned after a long holiday break from our TV’s. Are you ready to see wha
t’s in store?
Hearing Taylor’s opening line, “I’ve fought too hard for this zip code to go home now,” has the same effect on my eardrums and brain as a shot of hard whiskey has on my throat and chest. It’s not good, folks. Realizing that we are picking right back up at the dinner party hosted by Kyle and run by Faye is worse.
Faye’s behavior in the first few seconds elicits such a negative response in me, add Kyle having to be prompted to check on her own dinner guest leaving in tears isn’t much better. But, Kyle saying Faye isn’t trying to hurt Brandi made my eyes start spinning independently of one another.
Faye’s arrogance, her inability to see anything other than her opinion which she obviously considers the gospel according to Faye and patronizing ones that do not agree with the gospel of Faye is almost an overdose of horribleness. The only saving grace is its comedic in the fact that she was not involved in any part of this drama and wasn’t even present for a second of this drama. She in no way, shape, form or fashion has one thing to do with the drama. In fact, who called her off of her mount to give us her gospel?
Did anyone else just visualize millions of necks snapping to look directly at Kyle?
Speaking of, does anyone sense any sincerity in Kyle’s concern for Brandi outside? Anyone? Kyle, I want to believe you were truly saddened by what happened at your dinner party. I want to believe seeing Brandi upset made you sad. I really need to believe that. It would help if you would stop defending Faye as a passionate, loyal friend. Putting blinders on and not being wise or adult enough to see a situation from multiple sides and trying with all your might to make one feel like scum is not a loyal, passionate friend. It’s an ASS.
Hey Faye, you’re talking about your BS odometer. Let me say this clearly, everyone elses went into the red zone during this dinner party about you.
You know its bad when I’m relieved to see Taylor’s smile pop up on my screen.
Alisha, the clairvoyant/medium has arrived at Taylor’s for a cleansing/healing session. Again, you know the episode is dark when Taylor’s reactions and facial expression’s are making me giggle. The one thing we can all agree on, that black rock has more charisma and wisdom than what we had to listen to her preach at THE dinner party.
Next up, Marissa is arriving at Kyle’s for some yoga time. I’d love to give snaps for Marissa for her behavior at the dinner party. I jumped right over it. It’s crazy but Marissa seemed to realize the situation did not involve her and it wouldn’t benefit anyone to jump in with unkindness. We must grab moments of rational, normal adult behavior on these shows and embrace them, people! They are rare. Another random thought as I watch Kyle and Marissa begin yoga, this Marissa is very attractive and youthful looking. Marissa, I think you need to get ready for every event as if you are going to yoga!
A-HA! There it is! I KNEW IT! Kyle says, mid yoga, the entire drama started with Brandi saying that which-must-not-be- named, about Adrienne and the BOMBSHELL. Kyle does not think Brandi feels bad about saying it. Wait a minute…WAIT a minute, did Kyle just say Faye isn’t buying Brandi’s apology? My right eye started spinning again. Left eye is twitching.
Lisa and Brandi’s retail therapy is fun. Lisa saying the skirt is a belt was funny. It was tiny! Then we get to the heart of the matter, Lisa trying to broker a meeting between Brandi and little Miss Home Wrecker. I don’t know how to spell her name and I’m not going to waste my time looking it up. For the rest of this post, please know, little Miss Home Wrecker (LMH) is the chick who had an affair with a married man. T
hat is about as much respect as I can muster up. Brandi agrees to a meeting with LMH for Lisa’s sake and to avoid any future aggravation in the future.
Next scene, Taylor receives a call from her attorney explaining the public company suing her desires to reach a settlement which involves her handing over her wedding ring and two Birkin bags. Part of me wants to skip over this and act like we just didn’t see this. Not give it a moment of attention. I’m going to say one thing and skip along. Taylor’s reaction that she is stunned “they” have the audacity to ask this of her…THUD. < Me fainting. Grab my hand and let’s skip forward and leave Taylor with her black rock.
Yolanda and her kids, then later David in the kitchen at dinner time. I know I am hearing that Yo cooks on a regular basis without the help present in the house, but what I am seeing leads me to question those statements. Nevertheless, it’s a nice peek into their family and seeing that all parents face the same challenges despite bank accounts.
Brandi visiting Camille is super nice. I often wonder while watching these shows if any authentic friendships exist. It’s good to see Camille and Brandi both have each other to lean on, confide in and get advice from in what I can only imagine to be a horrible road to walk. So we can put two lines in authentic friendships on the Beverly Hills franchise.
Trainer, chiropractor, masseuse, vitamin packs, special medicine, holistic trials. If you answered, ‘What are things I dream of doing for my future self, Alex’, you’d be wrong. That is the list of expenses for Yo’s daughter’s horse. No need to re-read, it’s true, the horse has a chiropractor and masseuse. Next time you’re riding down the road, singing Hard To Say I’m Sorry along with the radio, know that it’s paying for a horse’s lifestyle that most humans can only dream of.
My, I just got a chill when Adrienne and Paul popped up on my screen. They are meeting to discuss a new skin care line. Right off the bat, we sense the bizarre that is Adrienne and Paul’s marriage. Adrienne condescends to Paul to relax, Gahd *eyeroll* and not sweat the small stuff. This was in response to Paul not being happy with her lipstick smudges on his coffee mug, yet she just made a deal about him setting her purse on the floor.
Paul opens up about how much time he’s spent and the research involved with their skin care line. (Note, Adrienne started the meeting with ‘I only have 30 minutes tops to do this, so let’s hurry’. ) Her response to his, ‘I’ve been spending a lot of time’ is an immediate, ‘we both have’. Shoulder pump. Every wife knows never to give her hubby credit or build him up. Men hate that, especially when it’s true. If I could put a cartoon bubble over his head at that moment, it would read “And that’s when it happened, your Honor.” I am positive if a judge viewed this clip, Paul would be set free.
Adrienne, in her talking head, says she and Paul have been working on a cutting edge skin care line. She’s been using it all the time on her skin and wants to bring it to the public. Here’s my problem with these situations, I hear the words coming out of her mouth but they do not match with her actions. Paul explains he wants Adrienne’s opinion on the texture, colors etc. IF she uses it all the time, is she not familiar with these characteristics of said skin care line? If Paul has worked and researched and has narrowed it down to what he is presenting to her today, what has all of her invested time encompassed? I hope not marketing because we see where the Maloof Hoof is today. O.K. Actually, I have no idea where her shoe line is. None. But since I’m not seeing or hearing about it anywhere, I’m assuming the execs at Louboutin aren’t quaking in their shoes at the competition from Maloof Hoof.
Oh goody! More talking head from Adrienne, she explains she has removed herself from the group of women especially one who is so toxic. She confides in us, the viewers, that Brandi has no idea the damage she has done and now ALL THANKS TO BRANDI, her marriage to Paul is strained. No mention of the fact that maybe her having the warmth of a dead fish had something to do with it.
Paul asks Adrienne how she feels about how their very first business meeting went. He seems sincere when saying he thinks it went well and seems genuinely hurt when she flippantly says that time will tell, as if it’s about the future profit line and not about them working together and more importantly, working on their strained marriage.
Next on the Real Housewives, (insert your own voice mocking while doing that intro) we are seeing a housewives dinner with their men in attendance. Lisa, Ken, Kyle and Mauricio are already seated when Taylor and John, her attorney friend, arrive. Taylor makes the announcement her lawsuit is settled. After a very brief gasp and misty eyed moment, there is genuine happiness from everyone. Lisa remarks they have been very worried about Taylor so her turning this corner is great! They celebrate Ken’s fast recovery from his hip surgery. John mentions he has seen Kim at a cigar club and Kyle insinuates that can’t be true since Kim is working so hard on her sobriety. Call me wacky, but I don’t think being at a certain location guarantees Kim is drinking again. Face it, Kyle, she invited you and the housewives for a get away celebrating her sobriety and if I recall you all chose to get smashed, except for Yolanda. Kim did not partake and I hope I’m wrong, but sometimes you put off the vibe that you want your sister to fail. I know this can’t be the case. Kyle opines that she doesn’t even feel like she knows Kim now. I’m using every bit of self-restraint I own to not go into a rant about the difference between controlling someone and having a healthy, equal relationship with someone.
Our last scene of the night is Brandi meeting with LMW, and to be honest, this whole thing overwhelmed me. I’ve never been through anything close to resembling this situation. The only thread I can grasp is that I am a mom and even the thought of a man choosing to do that to my children and our family sends me over the edge. Because of that, I’m not going to play she should or shouldn’t with this one. It’s real and because of the players involved, it is still a part of Brandi’s day-to-day reality. Please feel free to leave your thoughts and opinions down below. I’d love to hear your take!
Do you think Kim is intentionally leaving Kyle out of her life?
What are your thoughts about Taylor’s settlement? Why did Bravo choose not to show the events that obviously had the other cast mates concerned about Taylor?
Faye? Adrienne?
Look forward to hearing from you!
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— TVFishBowl (@TVFishBowl) April 9, 2013
Hey grrrl! I didn’t know you are blogging! Good job, too.
You especially nailed the “subtleties” of Adrienne and Paul. They barely could be in the same scene, they were so distant. I’m really glad Adrienne alerted us to Brandi’s superpowers, too, as she blamed Brandi for what we’ve seen was a warm, nurturing marriage in previous seasons.
I don’t know what I think about this show anymore. I feel like some of the cast are brain damaged; it’s like they are oblivious to their own behaviors, which they then project on to others…Lisa and Brandi, I mean. Kyle is absurdly lacking in self-awareness, as is Kim. Faye is obviously a gun for hire. Adrienne is as cold as a dead fish–perfect description; while Taylor has the moral conscience of a shark.
Brandi and Lisa are rocking it, though. Little Miss Homewrecker made Brandi look like a saint, so thanks for that, LMH. Otherwise, I can’t say I’m glad the RHOBH and Lisa’s new show are giving LMH a platform to be famous at long last, compliments of Brandi’s cheating ex-husband she screwed. There is something wrong with that, right?
Anyway, looking forward to more blogs from you! I’ll be your number one fan! Muah!
WhiteTrashGal
Once again Shannon you have hit the nail on the head!! Great take on the episode!! To answer one of your ending questions regarding whether or not Kim is intentionally leaving Kyle out of her life? My answer would be yes, simply because I believe Kyle needs her sister to be sick so she can feel superior. I could be wrong but that’s the feeling that I get from watching their relationship unfold.
Hugs and good job sweetie!!!
Great job Shan!! Agree on everything except Taylor making me giggle- that woman infuriates me by just being on my screen.
As I read your blog I realized I need to be commenting as I read, otherwise I’ll forget! For starters: Faye: Talk to the hand! Don’t want to hear your voice, don’t want to see your face. Will ffwd any scene that skank is in.
What Kyle said about Brandi starting the “Adrienne” discussion is a half-truth, also known as a sin of omission. Because what Kyle conveniently left out is, just like the initial get-together when Brandi spilled all, Kyle is the 1 that stirred the pot- BOTH TIMES! She’s the one that asked Brandi…”so what really happened between you & Adrienne?” She may have worded it differently the 2nd time, but SHE brought it up. (and she wonders why we don’t buy her sincerity…PUHLEEZ!)
I also found myself enjoying Taylor more, it’s either because she’s less annoying OR that I wasn’t having to see/hear Faye anymore.
I find Marissa to be a throwback Hollywood type of beauty, you know the kind with that platinum hair, a beautiful one piece & actually had a figure? She’s just beautiful! And so far, she’s a pleasant addition.
I kinda felt for Taylor about the lawsuit, but then I thought…wait a second, just months after your husband killed himself you wrote a book bad-mouthing your child’s father, who, btw, could not defend himself. So, my feelings of sadness for her were short ones.
I was surprised Yo doesn’t want her daughter to play volleyball. It may be a cultural thing, but I think while she is still a child, she should be encouraged to do anything positive & within their means (obvi anything is w/in their means) that she wants to. Yo wants her to be a model, Gigi wants to play volleyball. Normally I agree with Yolanda, but on this one, I don’t. I do like that her family seems like they spend “normal” time together- her kids seem VERY important to her & that’s so nice to see.
That chill you got from seeing Adrienne is no coincidence, she’s the damn Ice Queen! I didn’t pick up what you did about Adrienne not being familiar w/the skin care line, yet claiming to have worked on it. I hope if she gets some part of his company, he gets part of her family businesses to- not the ones they’re losing money on, though.
Re: Kyle/Kim I do believe at the time of filming Kim was intentionally keeping Kyle OUT of her life. I can only speak from my own experience with my sobriety & what I’ve seen from these 2 sisters. 1st of all: When you 1st get clean/sober (I know people say Kims an alcoholic, but I believe she was also addicted to prescription narcotics) you don’t even know own self, so how can you know someone else? Also, they say your maturity stopped when you started the abuse-how long ago was that for Kim? She may be remembering things about Kyle that aren’t good-or simply family dynamics (perhaps mom showing favoritism) that are triggers for Kim & for the time being, she needs the distance. Notice that she’s okay with Kyle in group settings, but tries to avoid Kyle’s house & family activities with her. I don’t think it’s about Kyle (shocker, I know) I think it’s totally about Kim making sure she stays on the right path. I’m really pulling for her, I know what a difficult road it is.
Loved your review!