It’s a battle of good vs. evil as Chad & Shannel and Raven & Jujubee become she-roes and villains, as they strut down the runway hoping to sashay into the finale. Next week we will find out who will be crowned the All Star winner, but first we have one last night of teamwork, breakdowns of emotions and an ending that no one saw coming. We also get guest Judges Wendi McLendon-Covey and Mistress of the Dark, Elvira.
First up is the mini-challenge. Day drag and shooting hoops. Basketball. Outdoors. In heels. It’s a game called FISH. It’s actually HORSE, but how many jokes can Ru get out of that? So FISH it is. By alternating team players, if one makes a basket, the other team member must match it, or get a letter. First team to spell FISH, loses. Bounce, bounce, basket, miss, airball, basket, fistpump. They trade baskets until Team Shad gets FISH spelled first. Shad? Fish? groan. They lose the challenge. By winning, Team Rujubee get phone calls from home. Jujubee speaks to his boyfriend. Raven to his Mom.
The main challenge is quite involved for everyone. All four must transform into She-roes and Villains, one each per team. Chad and Jujubee are the she-roes. Raven and Shannel are the villains. Each team must also come up with a backstory for their character, how they came to be and what their superpower is. In addition, all four must choreograph and perform an opening number together to (surprise) Good vs. Evil.
Ru does his usual pre-check on each team, going over their backstories. Ru was confused. Viewers were confused. These queens better stick to drag and makeup because writing a story is not their talent. WTH. Did they tuck their brains instead of their peens? Chad is a superhero who can make vaginas rejuvenate, she has a fire crotch. Shannel is her nemesis and can lactate out of her breasts to put out the fire in her crotch. Raven and Jujubee come from an unknown planet on the other side of the sun and during an eclipse are transported to Earth. Jujubee uses a hair dryer as a tanning gun to give everyone spray tans. Raven is pasty white and in all black..and hell if I know what her purpose was. To steal the tanning gun and give herself a tan? And the winning team will have their characters be immortalized in a real comic book? Gadzooks Squirrelfriend!
After a ‘WonderWoman’ type entrance of each she-roe/villain, and their backstory voiced over while walking the runway, Ru declared Team Shad the winner of the challenge, thus sashaying into the finales. Team Rujubee, again, would lip sync for their lives…against each other!
Yes, Rujubee’s worst nightmare. Lip syncing against each other. Emotions run high, tears fall low. The usual upbeat, danceable song “Dancing on My Own” (Robyn) was sung mostly with Raven and Jujubee having arms around each other as they cried thru the lip sync. It was touching. Even the judges were wiping away a tear or two. Jujubee had a breakdown afterwards — “I can’t breathe!” she said. “I didn’t wanna do that!” Raven helped her, while Ru looked visibly troubled.
Then it was time for Ru to make her decision.
“Ladies, I’ve made my decision,” Ru said. “You leave me no choice. Raven, Jujubee — shante, you both stay.”
Jubilation filled the stage. And then Ru added: “F*** it! We have a top four!” . As it should be.
“For next week’s final challenge, no more teams. It’s every queen for herself.”
If this week was hard to choose, finale night will be even harder. But now it’s every queen for herself. Next time we will know tho will be the First Legendary Queen inducted into the RuPaul Drag Race Hall of Fame.
Who do you want to win the crown? Leave a comment and cast your vote.
Follow @tvfishbowl for your Television, Movie, Celebrity, Pop Culture, and Gossip scoop— TVFishBowl (@TVFishBowl) April 9, 2013