“Shahs Of Sunset” Reunion Recriminations

Well, the other night was the second half of the Shahs of Sunset reunion. There’s really nothing to zero in on as the theme of the two-part “reunion.” In fact, it appears the only reason they all got together was so they could scream recriminations back and forth in their almost unanimous refusal to ever answer a direct question with an answer and not some stream-of-consciousness rationalizations.

That said, my recap could start and end with just one observation and it would say it all – Reza is reprehensible.

But, as I must expound before I go any further, full disclosure dictates my telling you I did not watch the first season of this show. So I don’t know the nice Reza I read people wishing had made it to the second season.

Photo by: Evans Vestal Ward/Bravo

Throughout second-season, Reza proves to be an insufferably self-absorbed individual for whom negative attention proves to be better than no attention at all. As intolerable as his behavior was throughout the entire season, he managed to make sure he was even more odious at the reunion. Besides the unbelievable torrent of slurs and insults that came out of his mouth (aimed mostly at his dear, good friend MJ who he gleefully eviscerated to the delight of Asa and Lily) it was almost impossible to have to sit through his school-girlish eye-rolls coupled with his cartoonish and really stupid sleeping noises. The capper was when called to explain his obvious contempt and utter lack of respect for women who he continually refers to with only two appellations – “bitches” and “whores.” Proving he couldn’t even find the high road let alone take it, he used the occasion to tell his BFF MJ that he may “call” all women (including his own mother from whom he is now estranged due, as he himself says, to how he conducted himself on the show) bitches and whores but her mother “is” a bitch and a whore. All I can think at that second is that I hope it instantly occurred to Mike that he has hitched his horse to the wrong wagon. (I am speaking to Mike’s having allegedly partnered himself professionally with Reza). I know that if I were in the market for a realtor, after hearing Reza the other night you can bet your hedge fund that just on general principal alone I wouldn’t do business with him and would encourage others to avoid him as well. And LA is nothing but a word-of-mouth town. You live and die on your last appearance.

Overall, Mike seems like a fairly decent dude so it would be a shame if Reza’s inexcusable behavior were to adversely impact Mike’s ability to make a living. I hope someone reminds Mike he will be judged by the company he keeps.

Photo by: Evans Vestal Ward/Bravo

Now of course Andy Cohen, as empty a suit (and head) as he always proves to be, sat there as useless as usual wearing that stupidly befuddled look he always seems to wear at reunions when he whips his head back-and-forth feigning dismay at what he hath wrought. He does nothing to even come close to gleaning anything new from any of them and seems to enjoy the feeding frenzies that are the hallmark of his reunions a lot more than is decent. So of course he neither scolded Reza for his boorish behavior nor acted like he was bothered by it all. As I said, he gets his rocks off at every reunion. He can barely contain his glee. The uglier things get, the more Andy just glows with his eyes turning into whirring pinballs.

His observation that Omid had been “digitizing GG under the table” was jaw-droppingly inappropriate and, I thought, simply said – disgusting. Once again Andy proves if it wasn’t for bad manners, he wouldn’t have any manners at all.

As for Asa, the self-proclaimed  ”Persian Pop Priestess,” she is as bad as Reza. Her diamond water has to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard of and I have to confess I really enjoyed the “give-us-a-break look on both GG and MJ’s faces as Asa waxed on how she was so excited about bringing this health tonic to the masses. Even Mike could barely contain his, shall we say, skepticism about the success of the venture. I challenge anyone to be able to give me one example of Asa answers one question with an actual answer. Her way of deflecting answers for her own selfish self-absorption was to attack the refreshingly honest GG because GG is and always has been dependent on her father to support her. GG readily admits that it’s a little hard to take for some people to hear that at thirty year of age, she has never worked at a job in her life. 

GG says the hair-extension business she co-owns with her sister and funded by Daddy is something she is using to establish herself and thereby gain her own financial stability so she can mature and leave her father to enjoy a carefree retirement. GG says she is working on her anger issues which again, she freely acknowledges, needs a lot of work. It was refreshing to hear at least one of them answer questions without lashing out at another cast member in order to deflect Andy’s focus, who, as anyone familiar with him knows, has the attention span of a gnat and therefore hasn’t the mental tenacity needed to ask a question and wait for a comprehensive answer.

Lawyer-Lily is just plain silly. She, like Reza, is also quite taken with herself. I am still laughing over the clip that shows us Lily informing us that “everything about her eludes sexuality.” Now, I have to take a moment to explain my absolute delight over this quote. First, I know I have already developed a reputation at one housewife website for being a spelling/grammar nazi. See, I have this crazy notion that someone who purports to be a professional blogger should at least be able to write at a fourth-grade level. I have no patience for a “writer” who doesn’t know how to properly use the words  ”there, their,” and they’re,” or “your” and “you’re.” But, I digress.

See, I know that Lily meant “exudes” sexuality when she said “elude” (or it could have been “allude” but either way it was just plain wrong in the context in which she used it). Taken with that the fact that she is always acting smugly superior because she has a law degree, all I could think when I heard that from someone who has to rely on language to do their job was, people with glass jaws shouldn’t spit stones.

Photo by: Evans Vestal Ward/Bravo

Finally there is MJ. She along with Mike, seems to be a genuinely good-hearted soul. However, she didn’t appear all that shocked to me by Reza’s constant low blows and cheap shots.

She attributes a troubled relationship with her mother as being the reason for her somewhat sad demeanor. Throughout the season we see MJ and her mother trying to reconnect. Some family history involving her mother and father is alluded to but never really fleshed out as we hear MJ tell her mother that what she needs from her at this point in her life is unconditional love. We also see some numb-nutted therapist (her scenes always made me think of Woody Allen’s futuristic monster from “Sleeper” when he worries about a creature that has “the body of a crab and the mind of a social worker) enabling MJ’s ennui.

As a mother and grandmother I would just like to take this moment to remind MJ that not only is her self-pity pointless and self-destructive, it’s not even realistic or reasonable.

MJ needs to realize that what she wants from her mother is not “unconditional love” but rather,  unconditional approval. The first flows from a mother as freely as mother’s milk and is what nourishes the soul. It is a wise mother however, that holds the latter in check, doling it out when it is earned and deserved.  Despite best efforts, not everyone emerges a winner in this, everyone-gets-a-trophy-just-for-playing culture that has developed over that last thirty or more years and MJ’s mother knows this. She sees a 40 year-old daughter who spends like there’s no tomorrow. Who lives like there’s no tomorrow. Who seemingly has given no real thought to how she will live in a retirement that will be here before she realizes the time had passed. It is a mother’s duty to be willing to do the hard part. To keep talking no matter how much their child appears to not want to listen when that child – no matter what age – consistently makes wrong-headed choices. 
That, MJ, is unconditional love. 

Oh, one more thing before I go because I am an officer with the grammar police after all. This one’s for Andy Cohen. I “imply,” you, “infer.”

Tags: Asa Soltan Rahmati, bravo, Bravo Media, Bravo TV, GG, Golnesa Gharachedaghi, Lilly Ghalichi, Little Reza, Mercedeh Javid, Mike Shouhed, MJ, Persia, Reza, Reza Farahan, Shahs, Shahs of Sunset