The third episode begins with Alicia and her soon to be ex husband, Loran out for Japanese Cuisine. They have been married for 18 years and in the process of divorcing for 6 1/2 to 7 years. I don’t understand that time span for a divorce but regardless they get along fabulously and their baby, a precious dog is accompanying them. Is this a Vegas thing? Dogs in restaurants? This dog is well-behaved and quiet but nonetheless, it’s a dog. In. A. Restaurant.
Alicia dives into her ongoing drama with Lana. Loran advises her to rise above. He explains people who are vindictive and cruel for the sheer pleasure of being vindictive and cruel, will eventually hang themselves. I may or may not have added some words to his advice but it’s true and we all know it. Alicia says she always has followed his advice and will continue to do so on this topic. Loran says we get along so much better when we aren’t living under the same roof. Side note to Loran: Duh! Being married and living together is hard work. Possibly the hardest thing you will ever accomplish is having one life long marriage.
Moving forward, we join Amy and her Mom, VegasRagDoll going to a radio station for an interview to promote Mom’s book. I was under the assumption that a radio d.j. had to have a pleasing or interesting voice, I was obviously wrong. We talk about Amy’s dad and brother having the highest number of kills of all mobsters in their area, bodies in freezers and Amy having a dark side like her Dad. Amy joked that if mobsters kidnapped her, she is sure they would bring her back within 15 minutes. Psst, I concur. Although Amy says in her talking head, Mom had it rough and she doesn’t think Mom knew what was going on till after the fact or later. Frankly, that doesn’t quite hold water for me since Mom just talked about a body being in the deep freeze in her house. My radar is going off and I’ll be keeping an eye on this story.
Lana is in her office and she explains she does more in one day than most everyone else does in a month. Lana is interrupted talking about representing a MMA fighter, by a call from Alicia. Alicia suggests the two trying to find some common ground. Lana responds I’ll send you a location tomorrow and gives Alicia an immediate dial tone.
Cut to makeup, Lori and Hubby, Ron are discussing, heck I’m not even sure. I think I dozed off for a moment. Kidding! Just for the record, I thought “Rain. Better than beautiful” was better than “Because you’re better than beautiful.” If I’m better than beautiful, why do I need your cosmetics? Unfortunately, Lori and Ron didn’t ask my opinion. They are blown away by a song, a friend wrote for the makeup line and Ron uses the lyrics to back up his side of the tag line debate. Then in a ten second period, hand to the sky, we get tears, hi fives and ants in my pants. The coup di gras? Ron’s cheesy, I love that you reach for the stars, Lori. I had to check my channel. For a hot second I thought my dog had sat on my remote and put on Days Of Our Lives or another cheesy show.
Lana is at Jennifer’s house now and although I think Jennifer has a good head on her shoulder, I’m confused how she has went from backing up Alicia in the last episode to now listening to Lana saying she will annihilate Alicia. Jennifer predicts the upcoming meeting between Lana and Alicia to end in a fist fight with Lana winning. What gives, Jen? You have totally flip-flopped on this one.
Amy and Lori are out at a party store. Amy is planning a surprise birthday party for her mom. The theme? Guess…C’mon…take one guess. Mobster! She is riding this train. It doesn’t take long for Amy and Lori to delve into the Lana and Alicia drama. Lori is sick of it and Amy makes it clear that they better not mess up her Mom’s party. How could anyone think a forced get together of reality stars would not be magical evening?
Cut to Jennifer showing up for a night of poker. She explains how tough it is and she loses 40% of the time. Winning 60% of the time allows her family to live a nice life style. I’m curious if it was one of her first times of filming for this show, because she looked nervous or out of sorts as she played. Jenn usually looks like a cool glass of water. Sadly, she has a bad night. We learn she dreads telling Marco when she loses because it inevitably effects their relationship, not to mention less money for bills, mortgage, kids etc.
Cut to Alicia, getting professionally done up for her meeting with Lana. She’s bringing a friend. I know I’m repeating myself, but she does behave in a junior high manner at times. If you call and ask for a meeting to try to get past a fight and move forward, you do not bring a sidekick. If you decide to bring reinforcements, let the other person know in advance, so they too can bring their sidekick. By bringing a surprise guest, you have put the other person at a disadvantage before a word is spoken. No way this is going to go well.
If you had told me after episode one that I would think Lana seems like the reasonable one in any situation, I would have told you to Shut the front door! Shockingly, as of now, I’m of the mind-set that Lana is the one that seems to handle things in an adult way. We are at the meeting. By meeting, I mean parking cars and getting out beside them and talking. Alicia comes right out of the gate, whining about her feelings. Then the sidekick begins bickering and jumping on Lana. Alicia exclaims she is thrilled to have her sidekick with her and have someone having her back. Did I not call 7th grade earlier? The meeting spirals and Lana leaves saying she’s wasted enough of her time. I agree, that is minutes of my life I can never retrieve. Alicia, grow up. You look ridiculous. I didn’t enjoy this type of drama in junior high and I enjoy it less now.
I thought the presence of Marco on my TV would cheer me up but it’s Downer Ville. Jennifer is explaining she needs to talk and have support on those nights she loses at the poker table. Marco thinks it’s best not to talk about it. I must insert here if Jennifer whines about the loss as much as she says how tired she is, I’m on Marco’s side in this disagreement. Jennifer reiterates she needs support, Marco says he’s tried it all and nothing works so that’s why they are at a point of not discussing it. Jennifer looks sad and put out. Marco looks put out.
Lana meets up with her sister and tells her about the meeting with Alicia. Cue, trash talk.
Now it’s time for the surprise party for Amy’s mom. Oh my goodness, I had to press rewind 342 times to watch Alicia trip and fall going up stairs. Remember those moments I lost earlier. I feel vindicated now. Jennifer shows up sans Marco and is feeling relieved to be out of the house. Amy and Mom show up with the little gangsta hat. Amy describes how hard it was to get her mom to go with her to a “surprise” because in the old days that usually meant you were getting whacked. She’s grateful her mom is going along with her. Was this a serious train of thought? Would Mom truly think she was getting whacked by her daughter? Uncle Maloof is present. The one worth like 24 billion dollars. Lana arrives with her sister and a small entourage. Alicia begins snarking. Lana, in her talking head threatens that Alicia will regret it if she messes with her and Amy is the most serious in saying, these B’s better not mess up her Mom’s party.
Lori approaches Alicia with the grand idea to pull Alicia and Lana to the side and resolve things and no worries because Lori and Jennifer will be right there. Alicia says NO and that she’s beginning to feel like Charlie Brown with the football. That folks, gives us a deep glance into Alicia’s lack of self-awareness. Alicia explains she’s attempted many times to mend the relationship and it’s been met with nasty comments and criticisms. She even throws a stab that she felt hung out to dry at Lori’s soiree. Next thing we know the group is headed to the hall. Does this remind anyone else of the idgit in every horror movie that hears a sound and instead of running for the hills, they go to investigate?
Lori asks if there is any way they can make it comfortable for everyone. Lana explains she feels ambushed by Alicia bringing her barking Chihuahua and Alicia defends her friend. Jennifer, in a rare moment of clarity in reality tv, says if someone gives you an honest apology, why not accept? Alicia swears she has never slept with a married man in her life. She wants Lana’s slander of her to stop. Amy is beginning to see red because she does not want her Mom’s party to be ruined. Jennifer is earnestly trying to explain to Alicia what people say about you is meaningless, accept the apology and move forward and then Lana’s sister, Natalya begins and she just became barking Chihuahua number 2. Though, I could appreciate the “Are we talking about Alicia’s feelings again?” Alicia in her talking head, compares Natalya to a colicky baby and says until they outgrow it, you should leave them at home. There’s my point folks, Alicia’s friend having her back was awesome in her eyes. Lana having the exact same thing was atrocious. Lana at least was trying to quiet her sister while Alicia loved her friend going after Lana.
Hold the phone. What is that standing by George, Alicia’s friend? I’m mesmerized.
What are your thoughts and opinions? Who are you liking and disliking? Should “what happens in Vegas stay in Vegas,” or are you looking forward to the next episode?
And seriously, what was that standing in front of Lori by George at the end of the show?!?
Follow @tvfishbowl for your Television, Movie, Celebrity, Pop Culture, and Gossip scoop— TVFishBowl (@TVFishBowl) April 9, 2013