And we’re off! 
We jump right in Lana’s office and she is sketching, or skeletoning hardware for her handbags, I prefer sketching as I’ve no idea what skeletoning is and apparently neither does Lana. But forget handbags because she is designing t-shirts and the first design we see is Lizard! She has fashioned a lizard to look like a picture she has of Alicia. The street signs over Lizard are quite clever, Fame and Irrelevant. Lana, will never be accused of complacency, in her next breath she is asking her assistant to call Channel 3 news to see if Alicia does indeed work for them. Secretary bebops back in, triumphantly grinning. Channel 3 has reported that Alicia is not an employee. Natayla, Lana’s sister, shouts something about the truth setting you free and I’m wishing someone had shared the truth with her. Just a nudge, whisper, SOMETHING to the effect of your dress is see through.
Cue to Lori’s house and her twin sister is skipping in to talk about their upcoming 50th birthday. Ron saunters up with a something or another and I’m seriously beginning to think someone told him to act as if he is on a soap opera. It’s got to be the case. His every word and movement seems acted and staged. Stop that, Ron. It’s not good. It’s the opposite of good. I’m measuring my words carefully as you have been nothing but kind so far. But, seriously, stop that.
Now we are with Alicia out with Tricia. Alicia explains that Tricia is a social butterfly and introduces her to so many new and interesting people, which has me scratching my head. I thought Alicia has told us numerous times that she knows everyone that is anyone. However, Tricia introduces her to a new friend Kimberly. Kimberly’s answer to Tricia and Alicia’s attempt to taint her opinion of Lana, was superb. I think….I didn’t necessarily understand the entire meaning but I did like, what I attract is different than what you attract. Sounded to me like, I don’t want to be part of this silliness and you need to examine your part in this situation. If I was working on a points system here, Kimberly would have just got a nice amount.
Lana and trust fund monkey Mikey are smooching and having a love fest. Girls start arriving and Lana clues us in that she wants the girls to watch the news with her. What better way to out a liar than delicious food and watching the news in a state of the art viewing theater.
Sidebar here. If you have gotten bored of mocking Rachel Zoe’s voice, I’m quite sure Amy is our answer.
Amy, brings up the fight at her mom’s birthday party and although she clearly doubted she would get an apology in her talking head, she does. Although, she feels the apologies are BS.
What is interesting at this gathering, lines are beginning to be drawn. While none of the ladies, bar Lana, seem comfortable talking about someone when they aren’t there to defend themselves, after it’s clear that Alicia was not on 3 different time slots in a day, even level headed Jenn says she’s curious as to how Alicia will get herself out of this one. As if this isn’t this first fib Alicia has been caught in. In contrast, Amy seems anti-Lana before all the guests arrive and she’s even aware what Lana has planned. Lori is straddling the fence and not giving any honest opinion.
Of course what’s any normal, level headed person to do at this point? Call Alicia on the phone, immediately. Alicia explains she isn’t working this week but check back next week. Lana insists that Channel 3 confirmed Alicia has not worked there in a long time. Alicia says she does not feel the need to explain her work status to Lana. Lori is beginning a melt down because of..I’ve no idea why, exactly, but she’s upset. Jenn says she makes a living seeing through people’s BS, so she will get to the bottom of it herself and draw her own conclusions. Jenn immediately calls Channel 3, confirms they have no clue as to who Alicia is and th-th-tha-th-th-tha that’s all, Folks.
Alicia’s talking head about how Lana’s timing is impecable because she was trying to prove to Kimberly what a wack job Lana is and Lana’s call just proved it. Wait, you have acted incredulous at the time Lana spends disliking you but you are here trying to prove to one of Lana’s friends what a wack job Lana is. Hypocrite, heal thyself.
Lana invites Lori and her twin sister on a trip to Sedona with her and her sister, Natayla. Lori is envisioning spas and pampering but when Lana says she finds Sedona magical, I’m thinking Lori may be in for a surprise.
The two sets of sisters meet up at the hangar and begin drinking Cristal out of the bottle. What else is a lady to do before boarding your private plane? Lana explains her private plane is her starter plane, her Toyota but she wants a G6. Lori suggests going in halves on the G6 and they plan things that must be on and in it. Lori confesses her dream is to fly a plane.
They land and Lori gives us a talking head about how amazing our United States are. She is so child like.
After driving and driving and it becoming dark, they arrive. Lori is realizing spa is not in the plans tonight. They arrive and meet up with a guy named Chris. Lana ask Chris if he got the mothership and do they know they’re here. Chris explains to the girls they are going to get a crash course in all the activity and mystical activity in this area. Lana is like a kid on Christmas morning. Lori and her twin are those two annoying kids that are scared of everything and squealing like 6 year old girls. Lana theorizes she is here from another planet. Lori and twin want to go back. Lana admits she desires for Lori to gain confidence in herself.
They approach a gate with signs saying no trespassing. Lana is raring to go over and does. Natayla follows. Once several in the group have climbed the fence, Lori reluctantly decides to go for it. I am so proud of Lori in this moment and again, if I were giving out points? She just got a bazillion. Our girl just gained a bit of spirit in her step!
They return 25 minutes later, and not only is everyone else proud of Lori, Lori is proud of herself. Lana, in her talking head, says it was amazing to see Lori believing in herself. Lana, we agree! It was a great Reality TV moment.
Oh how I wish I could insert the downer music clip right now in my blog. From such a triumphant story of overcoming a fear and women supporting women to be better to Alicia. Once again, whining. Sigh.
Alicia has accepted an invite from Amy to meet and chat. Amy explains, the night at Lana’s and subsequent phone call was nothing but an attack on Alicia. Amy is not comfortable with how Lana is conducting herself in regards to Alicia. Shortly into the meeting, Amy begins to have severe pain in her side. I wish pain on no one, but I am rejoicing, that this stopped the pain, of me, having to once again listen to Alicia talk about how wronged she is, what she is owed, sprinkled in with doing the exact things she calls out Lana on. Amy’s pain increases and she is crying in pain.
911 is called. They arrive. They put a crying and scared Amy into the ambulance and speed away.
Eyae, is our destination the next day, and he’s a bearded guy is ready to clean, clear, balance and heal the ladies. He takes them aside, individually. Lori is truly changed by her experience and Eyae repeated everything I’ve thought in my head about Lori. It resonates with her as she sheds tears during their experience. Lori explains that Lana genuinely cares about her friends and inner circle. I’m going to agree. As over the top as she is in some areas, she has shown herself to be a caring supportive friend to Lori and Jennifer. She not only listens, gives sound advice, she truly seems to want her friends to grow and succeed. That is a rare quality among women and it makes me think highly of her. Say what you will, Lana is passionate whether she loves you or does not. I wonder if those lizard t-shirts are on sale yet?
The women are leaving Sedona an
d Lori says the trip was fabulous and she is now facing turning 50 years old with a fresh perspective. I’m excited for Lori. I am excited we got to see this Lori. It’s much better than the pc wallflower we have seen prior to the Sedona trip. I don’t enjoy women that never have an opinion and just agree with anything and everything. Yawn. I wish her continued growth and success as she celebrates her fifties!
I’m blathering because moving forward means I have to go back to that other storyline. I really do not want to go back to that story line. I really really don’t. You hear me knocking?
But as a blogger, I am forced so let’s get this over with.
Amy is pulling up, honking for Alicia and explaining that the big medical emergency yesterday? IBS. Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I’m not sure I didn’t come down with it watching these two. Amy, in her Rachel Zoesque voice says, it really meant a lot that Alicia stayed with her through her entire IBS experience and that meant so much, she wants to share part of her world with Alicia. What better way than to drive her to a remote part of the dessert where alledgedly mobsters took care of business. Alicia is understandably a tad stunned to realize she is standing where many, may or may not have lost their lives. Alicia does respect that Amy shared this with her. It’s a meaningful moment for both of them. It’s nice. Yes, you read correctly. I actually wrote it was nice. It was nice seeing Alicia doing anything other than talking about Lana. It’s a rare moment so we must embrace.
Fast forward to the night of Lori’s Birthday Party, and everyone is excited and arriving for a fun filled night!
I must come up with a famous soap opera character to call Ron. Unfortunately even Victor Newman seems more authentic than Ron. And there is that thing again! What is that in the limo with the twins and Ron?
Lori and Sis, scheduled the evening to begin with a more intimate gathering of castmates and friends before the big party. Toasts and gifts are given at this time in honor of Lori and Sis. Dramatic soap star gives Lori, a long desired trip to Monaco and she is excited. I love this episode ending watching two of the hottest 50 year old twins dancing and having a ball. That left me smiling.
So your thoughts? Who are you loving or hating?
Did you enjoy watching Lori bloom this episode?
Do you think Alicia is being dishonest about her employment?
Most importantly, what was that thing in the limo with Lori on her way to the party? It’s showing up more often.
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— TVFishBowl (@TVFishBowl) April 9, 2013
That thing is Junior Renteria, National Makeup Artist for Rain Cosmetics and personal friend/makeup artist of Lori.